You know that EVERY SINGLE ONE of these dragons has at least two kids, a stay at home wife, and a mistress.

I will be undergoing morcellation in a few days.

Because now she has a makeup brand that is backed L'Oreal (plus she founded ipsy, one of those beauty box subscription companies). She has actual assets now as opposed to being some random blogger who plays with make-up.

This is the Comcast cancel call equivalent in nightclub booking.

If she were Indian, I may have thought someone had secretly filmed my reaction to seeing Jolene performed live.

Why the fuck do I care about anything that happens on Tumblr

Ugh, ok I can see it. So, obligatory.

Was that his plan the entire time when he invited you up?!?

OH MY GOD.

ICQ?!?!!! You just took me way back.

For. Fucks'. Sake.

I am a former NYer who has a certain amount of grudging respect for the sheer disgustingness of that pass.

Shut it down, everyone. We have a winner.

It's going to be hard to top literally 9/11 for bad pickup attempts.

I propose a new derogatory word: thickebag. Please feel free to use in a sentence.

From the Stroke.org website:

My grandmother worked for Lane Bryant in the late 1920's! She said she put the clothes orders together. She lived to be 104 (she passed away last year) and she loved telling stories about going to work in "New York" when she was younger. She lived in Brooklyn at the time.