“a person addicted to alcohol who can fix his car and thinks the earth is flat”

So, a *tea-partier* then?

Anne Hathaway: “Not sure why you’re all hating on JLaw. Remember me? I’m waaaaaaay more annoying.”

tfw you’re only haphazardly rooting for the seahawks to go to the superbowl so conan will have another video game preview with marshawn and rob gronkowski and you’ll be invited this time to live your dream

She made sure to mention she won an award for portraying an ex convict and not for her tender mother role in Benjamin Button. She served cookies, majesty and facts!

IT LIVES

The Henderson County Sheriff’s Department wisely chose not to wade into an armed confrontation with Gray; Tarkington won a court order granting him custody of his sons, but was unable to execute it for the same reasons.

I find it annoying that you INSIST that a 15 year old girl can’t do things on her own.

S.E.Hinton was 15 when she wrote the Outsiders a book that won many awards. But god forbid a 15 year old girl who was probably in the studio with her dad when she was 5 and could have been learning her craft at a very young age.

The best part about giving birth is that you’re no longer pregnant afterwards. And the baby, of course, but in the first few post-partum days, I was so shell-shocked the fact that there was a baby and that he was mine felt very abstract. Not being pregnant, however, felt very real and very amazing. A friend visited me…

Congrats to her! She sounds like someone who really hates pregnancy so I’m happy for her that it’s over!

Why is Travolta so orange?! He makes Trump look human-colored!!

I’d love to move to Canada but a) they won’t let me in (the visa process is daunting), and b) I’m too scared to come out from under my bed in the U.S. It's fucking scary here.

Suddenly “I’m moving to Canada” seems like the thing that sane, logical Americans might consider, rather than the traditional “I’m moving to Canada” crowd.

That’s guys basically a walking cold sore - I don’t think he’s sneaking his herp past anybody.

So you won't murder them when they cry all night and our species can keep going

those babies look like little glowworms omggg

I like his little “this is a good baby” ... ::smooch:: at the end. Like kissing the top of its little head was just an involuntary reaction to seeing a baby head. This guy really likes kids!

Seriously. I’m so sick of this joke.

Jesus. Both Charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber on Today? That’s the douchebag motherlode. The douchebag hoard of Smaug. The douchebag event horizon. The douchebag Gotterdammerung.

It’s really saying something if Bieber thinks you’re a douche.