I wish somebody would’ve aborted him before he was unleashed on the world.

CALL THE BURN CENTER

Who are these friends Trump speaks of

Does that mean Beck has secretly left too? I am also obsessed with cults.

One of my favorite things about being alive is that that book exists. The description on Amazon is amazing: “a mousy, timid librarian is summoned to a remote Canadian island to inventory the estate of Colonel Cary, who, she learns soon enough, had any number of secrets. But the most surprising and enduring secret is a…

What’s with the free condoms guy? It kind of seems like you would ask for a condom and he would show you one already on his dick or something.

He’s also Kate Spade’s cousin so maybe he could exploit her?

When you play the song in reverse does it tell you to kill your parents?

I once got told that I didn’t smile enough when I answered the phone and that the person on the other end could hear my non-smiling in my voice. My boss then made me practice answering the phone while smiling. I wonder if people could hear me flipping them off on the other end.

I mean, the Crips are still active in Brooklyn so this event could’ve turned out kind of awkward.

Feet are the worrrssttt. One time I was on a bus and I felt something tickling my lower back, and I looked behind me and this woman had put her BARE FEET through the seat and her goddamn twinkle toes were touching me. I was paralyzed with fear and disgust. My boyfriend thankfully yelled at her for me. I will never…

I went down a Wiki-rabbithole and found out that when John Jr died he was actually flying to see Carole Radziwill on Martha’s Vineyard. Huh.

After reading Going Clear I realized he was just a sad, lost puppy. I just want to see him wake up and get out of Scientology:(

Do you also find that the men in your program get away with a lot more than the women? Because I definitely found that to be true and it made me so mad.

Looks like it is queer friendly. I guess Steve Harvey doesn't like gay people unless he can make money off of them.

It's not very warm today, good thing he can put on that piece of gauze from around his waist if he gets cold! Also, is he carrying a fanny pack?

Both of these people are basically meaningless nothings to me, EXCEPT that Katy Perry has a cat named Kitty Purry, so she wins by default.

The ad says that it comes with a full time doorman, but it's a single family home. Is it possible that the 22 million includes an actual human?!

It's the Streisand effect!