[signs karma to 8-year deal]

Justice never takes a Halladay, nor does it care for apostrophes.

Halladay knows all about steroids, being a medical professional and all.

Gotta commend the cameraman for disguising his undoubtedly expensive, high-quality camera such that Griffey had absolutely no idea what was coming with that phone call!

This is crazy. What result were they looking for with a rookie QB? A wild-card berth? I can’t even imagine the thought process here...Maybe they just realized that he took Devin Hester off returns for two years to ‘focus on being a wide receiver’ or something?

I legit had no idea that Smith was their coach.

Stupid. Just stupid.

As well, forgot to mention it in this tweet:

Just like Dan, I too did not vote for Griffey.

But for real, Bobby... that was perfect. The fact that there is nary a proper noun in this article is just.... excellent. I salute you!

George W. Bush wanted people to forget about the two wars in the Middle East he dragged us into

Shouldn’t you be scouring Amazon for the next great deal on velcro ties?

The referee’s feet weren’t set.

its up to 89 now.

And in the case of Brazil it’s this sick one-two punch that FIFA and the IOC threw them.

The hurdles. Man, you had better clear those hurdles.

Agreed, next logical step is to remove the water from the aquatic sports’ venues.

Simple solution: turn to one of your most prominent citizens for electricity.

What’s the big deal? Which track and field event needs electricity?

At the end of the day, it’s all about the dough.