My take away from this is that Keanu is Batman.

One of my co-workers was walking down a San Francisco street when she tripped and nearly fell into a row of motorcycles. In that weird time slowing thing that happens in crisis moments, imagining the wave of tumbling bikes as she fell, an arm reached in and caught her while the other hand grabbed the first bike.

The important question is whether he would respect me enough to touch me if I requested it.

Counterpoint: I do want to be touched by Keanu Reeves.