I have to admit I am rather enjoying what looks like the beginning of her public nervous breakdown. As I am with Jerry Falwell. Pay attention: you cannot keep spouting this crap (even if you don't believe it yourself) without totally losing it in the end.

I have a girl like this in my life. She's 12 and every birthday we go to the bookstore and she picks out something. It's become a great tradition. Then we read together with a cup of tea/cocoa.

The first part is easy! Sounds like a "Get married so I can feel better" situation. You just need to firmly tell her to back off. That conversation is off-limits. Part two, a little more complicated... I met my guy after I got really clear about exactly what I was looking for. I even wrote a list. It's a little corny,…

I went through something similar (luckily we never married), good for you for getting out. I know it can be really difficult. The man I did marry is the sweetest, loveliest person who could not imagine treating another human being badly. Plus he's adorable. They're out there!

You are allowed not to hang around with "close relatives" if they are a bunch of idiots, which yours are. Feel free to skip any festivities featuring these morons.

And make you sure you eat something before taking the Motrin. Never take it on an empty stomach. I wish someone had told me that twenty years ago.

But that doesn't really explain ALL of their huge nice apartments.

Not that I really care, one of the many reasons I was not a big fan.

Please ask him where I can get one of those self-cleaning toilets.

Not sure. I've seen a few episodes, but not even close to all of them. But from what I remember they all had way nicer places than me or any of my friends in NY.

She was never really rebellious, her career took off when she started presenting herself as a sex object, which only seemed rebellious at the time because women were hoping times had changed enough so they wouldn't need to do that (women were wrong about that btw). She was just exploiting the patriarchy. So, not…

I never watched it during its primetime run, to me it was a watered-down imitation of Seinfeld (plus there was a monkey. A monkey? Really?), but after seeing a few reruns I was surprised that Courtney Cox' character was by far the best. By far. She was really funny. Did not expect it!

Plus their ridiculously huge apartments (with decks) on waitress salaries?

You will love it. We just gave a copy to my dad for Christmas, because the entire rest of my family has read it and adored it.

I eloped.

Grab some paper and write down everything you're feeling. Keep a journal, or just write and then throw it away. It helps so much. Every time you want to text, write. Handwriting is really therapeutic.

I just saw the documentary about Burt (Burt's Buzz) and evidently the company was sold to Clorox, which bums me out so much.

Read Beautiful Ruins. It's the book that took away the bad taste of Gone Girl for me.

It must be true, it's from the authority on trying to get attention.

A bunch of sibs/cousins and I were single well into our 30s, which prompted one of my aunts to say, "the problem with you kids is that you're having too much fun."

Because some people on TV said so.