One of my favorite old Onion articles. Here’s my favorite of all time:

I used to watch the whole 45 minute sequence from the house fight to Morpheus’ fight on the truck on DVD after work when it came out, because I am very old. Also the House of Blue Leaves fight in Kill Bill, Vol. 1.

No, I totally get it, and classics having multiple adaptations is a tradition as old as storytelling. And I really really don’t want to shit on anyone’s parade - I hope both versions are phenomenal. I really like V for Vendetta as a totally separate thing from the comic book, and that goes for tons of things I like.…

I don’t really want adaptations of any of them.   But whatever, no one agrees with me.  I’m old.   Get off my lawn.

Those films weren’t shot on Normandy Beach during D-Day then shown to soldiers and their families in hospitals as entertainment. A better point of comparison would be the Great Depression. And Sullivan’s Travels.

Live and let cry, I always say.

Show me you’re nuts.

Judge: “Can you get your client to take his mask off?”

Now we’re getting somewhere.

RIP one of the top 3 delivery stand-up comedians of all time.

This is the greatest idea.  So many movies would be improved by making most of the characters Muppets.

Just walking around high school wearing his Roadhouse outfit.

You’re making me think of the first talkie version of “The Dueling Cavalier” from Singing In The Rain where Gene Kelly and Jean Hagen have no idea how to translate their acting from silent movies.

Sam Elliot