You don’t understand how “average speed over 32 hours” works, do you? It includes the minutes you’re stopped, filling up with gas and running to the restroom. Even a 65-mph average over a 10-hour day of driving is hard to do.

The guy whose record Roy broke, Richard Rawlings, comes close.

There is nothing inherently unsafe about driving a car designed for high speeds on a road designed for high speeds, and a stupid sign with numbers on it doesn’t change that fact. 

Dems need to get the rumor mill going with “the whistleblower was Mike Pence,” pronto.

You’re saying pollsters have nothing in their statistical models to account for all the unanswered calls?

If it wasn’t a Cobra replica, would it be worth $25,000?  No? CP.

Seen on Twitter: “If you need a 30-round magazine to hunt a deer, you might need to give up hunting and take up fishing.”

LOL. Studies suggest you may need a hug.

I still cannot buy Jack Ryan as a cross between 007 and a Navy SEAL. Jack Ryan was an analyst who figured something out by looking at a picture of a submarine, for Chrissakes.

You stopped wanting to punch her once she turned 18? Gross.

So, you liked her until she turned 18? Gross.

What killed Sharapova’s career was losing her crutch, Meldonium. Even if it was just psychological, she hasn’t played the same off the juice.

Austin, Dallas, Houston, pretty much any of Texas: we don’t refer to numbered roads with “the”  in these parts.  It’s not “The 35,” it’s just “35" or “I-35.”  Using “the” will get you branded as an outsider.

Or the time she played the race card in the final against mixed-race Naomi Osaka.

Strangely enough, court orders actually mean something, even when the court isn’t hounding you constantly about it.

Can I get an ID on the bag in the lower left of the headline pic? I can’t find it on their web site.

Can I get an ID on the bag in the lower left of the headline pic? I can’t find it on their web site.

One soldier is a “trooper.” An organized unit of cavalry soldiers is a Troop (similar to terms like Company or Battalion). Speaking of soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines en masse, they may be referred to as “troops.”

Even the doggie-breed DNA tests can be a little wacko. One of the rescue groups we foster for was gifted some DNA tests. There was this gigantic “obviously a German shepherd dog” in the system they decided to use one of the tests on. I mean if you took him to a German shepherd meetup nobody would bat an eye at him.…

Prepare yourself for disappointment. Leaking these tapes pretty much assures the trial will be moved. The defense lawyers for the white cop will fight to change the venue to someplace less “urban” than Dallas County. My guess is someplace farther east, the more “old south” part of the state, where the jury will be…

Are you getting paid by the word? All you had to say was this: