Oof. Touché

It's adorable how you think he does anything himself

Totally agree on that last point. Rather than feeling like easter eggs or getting us a little hyped with the possibility of a character coming in (like the random Stephen Strange name drop in Winter Soldier), it can make everything feel like filler before the next big event, in this case everyone knowing Civil War had…

I got more of a "Surfer who likes to fancy himself a Conan" vibe from his line readings. Which might actually be more entertaining

He said the scene wasn't comic book-y. I can't think of anything more comic book-y than what you described

It sounds like he's only in an opening scene that could get cut, so I'm guessing some sort of military officer who's notified by one of his soldiers that they "just saw something weird" on the bauble what detects weird things in space. Either that or a legislator briefly mentioning how they just gotta do something…

Eh. I'd add Civil War into that ending and maybe the several spats between Stark and Rogers throughout the movie (arguably extending the characterizations in the first Avengers, but given we all knew Civil War was coming up, it sure felt like a bit of a prelude). If we're being generous, maybe add Black Panther too…

And then those credits will need their own post credit scenes which will then necessitate their own credits with further post-credit scenes. The commercials stingers will never end!

So have certain names just kind of fade in and out in the corners throughout the entire movie? Or incorporate the credits directly into the dialogue?

I've gotten to the point where I'll watch the first couple of minutes of whatever stylish presentation they have for the big name cast and crew, "enjoy" the first stinger because it might have something interesting or amusing (although it's just as likely to be Thanos putting on a glove), then wait for the rest on…

…or is it?!

One for the next Avengers movie. One for Ragnarok. Maybe one for Spider Man. One for some kind of fan service (I personally think that Howard the Duck was more that than anything else). And then maybe one just to lightly suggest stingers are kinda dumb

Oh man, you sure showed me, what with calling me a nerd and this being the 1980s and all when people still cared about that kind of thing.

That's what Ragnarok is for

Honestly, ask the average viewer to name all of the Guardians and you'll probably get Groot, the Raccoon, Chris Pratt (maybe Star Lord), the green girl, and the big funny green guy.

So another Age of Ultron?

From what I'm gathering about Infinity War, every character in the entire Marvel cinematic and TV universe has been cast, meaning you'll get a reaction shot of each character lasting exactly 30 seconds before moving on the next one.

That would be too random and absurd! It's all sequential. Just get five tickets to five showings in a row

Which you have to recite before you're allowed to leave the theater. So really post-credits stingers are doing us a service by giving us a chance to practice

They only said there are 5 post-credits scenes, not that they would be playing during the same viewing of the movie. You'll just have to go watch the movie 5 times in a row to see them all.