you are analyzing Military Life as if it were rational or obeyed the laws of physics or arithmetic. Sign up for a short burst, then we’ll talk.

The lawyer in “Body Heat” finishes his 5-mile evening run and fires up a smoke.

Freud said nobody believes he’s ever going to die. Death just happens to Other People. Your Best Option can be found in “20 Proven Things To Hasten Death.”

i quit cigarettes in a post-surgery rehab in February ... me and other patients and nurses and staff would stand outside on the little smoking porch and light up in a sub-zero blizzard. Sometimes I’d smoke discarded wet butts.

all-addiction doctor (on Natl Smokeout Day) said of all the stuff ppl get addicted to, legal, illegal, the hardest addiction to kick, by far, is cigarettes.

new TV ad from big pharma company: their new drug won’t cure lung cancer, but it will give your lung-cancer loved one maybe a extra year to play with the grandkids.

where, may i inquire, is your childhood land of chawing & spitting? Did they still have big brass spittoons?

yeah yeah but those things don’t happen for 15 years or more, chill. Old cowboy told the doctor “If I’d known I was gonna live this long, I’d have taken better care of my body.” (EX-cigarette addict, red box Marlboros)

oh yeah, i forgot that it’s Bad Luck to light 3 cigarettes from one match because that gives the night sniper time to aim at you. Odd future ... devices in our pockets and on our laps and under our feet suddenly explode and burst into flames. I hadn’t seen that coming.

back in Ancient Times, major league baseball players would take gigs, paid by big tobacco companies, to teach baseball clinics to high school kids. The “pros” urged the high school boys not to smoke, but to chew, because it wouldn’t affect their lungs, wind and stamina. Fast Forward a decade or two to the Oral Cancer…