Why isn't it just a list of names and numbers? How is a randomly strewn bunch of dots a better way to present this information?

Yep, Texas does. They do things different down there.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

The opening of the Reuters article is just…too much…:

Thanks, I needed that.

Zeppelin *was* heavy metal in the 70s. "Arguably the first true metal band", says Allmusic.

Also, the entire premise.

No, the Newton Cradle's thing is way, way, WAYYY on the awesome end of things.

They're definitely better than they were 20 decades ago.

Pärt-heads will save the music industry.

And to use the pronoun "his" instead of "their".

I'm so tempted to do this, but it would take me hours and be agonizing.

Drug-addled Aerosmith were *awesome*. Cleaned-up Aerosmith, a nightmare. On the local classic rock station's "Two-for-Tuesday" I always seem to catch Aerosmith, and it's always one 70's Aerosmith, and one 80s/90s Aerosmith song, and it's always an astonishing contrast.

If you're a Creepypasta enthusiast desperately wanting something "scary", sure. Otherwise, it's just kind of sad.

Best one-off monster ever, but the logic of the gimmick doesn't hold up to prolonged scrutiny.

Solid point.

"I'm just saying this article is equally awful."

"only replies allowed". And, yet, I'm reading your dumbass comment *right now*.

Murray Street absolutely kills. But I rather like A Thousand Leaves, too. Karen Koltrane, man.

It's approximately twice as long as it needs to be. "Relentlessly mediocre", as you put it, is far, far worse than "shitty, but gets to the point then leaves".