I’ll say what I always say about Star Citizen: I have paid no money for it, do not own a computer than could even play it, ever, and my experience with it is pre-pandemic trials at my friend’s place that were extremely janky and broke a lot. My skin in the game is nothing.

But every time I played the game I saw the…

Star Wars has never been improved by the introduction of prophecies.

When are we going to accept that lightsabers are stupid and that by all rights Jedi—canonically disturbingly unobservant dipshits—would just be constantly and casually slicing through things they didn’t intend to, usually their own body parts. Every Jedi should have at least one cybernetic limb owing to an entirely…

Of course a drunk pony would say something like that.

As a sober pony I’d say it looks terrible.

No you’re thinking of The Channel. A Channel is the tunnel that runs under The Channel.

MGM Plus is a reason to pirate.

Quiet got all the attention but to me it was the game’s brutal treatment of PAz that really made my stomach churn.

(That and making all the male characters one-note bitter, angry asshole who do nothing but growl, with the franchise’s famous sense of humour nowhere in sight. And recasting Snake. And not allowing you to…

In the yers between seeing Cars 2 and Cars 3 I got into F1, so that when I finally saw Cars 3 a year or so back I cried and felt like a putz.

The headline is driving me crazy why can’t I quit this hateful place? I could just not type Kotaku into my damn browser. It doesn’t have to be reflexive.

“Grown adult does not resemble character he last played as a child on Disney television programme fifteen years ago.”

More on this shocking story as it develops.

Wow, weird. I am playing through the game right now and it’s Alloy’s backstory I don’t give a single shit about.

It says that on the title but then has Attack on Titan on the list which, even if we ignore all the gross controversies, is quite frankly the worst-paced show of the decade.

That’s what liberalsm has been for the last hundred years, yes.

Calvinism. The morality of JK Rowling is just Calvinism.

Because unlike you I understand the concept of nuance?

As an F1 fan I know how uninteresting a sport can be when things get really, really unequal between drivers (F1 being a sport where no amount of being a scrappy upstart or underdog matters if you can’t drop 200 million on wind tunnel tests and the best German engineers), but this constant pursuit of balance baffles…

No it’s fine to be a commoner so long as you’re of the right caste.

Hey now. I had a lot of fun complining about how terrible it was!

(I saw Nomadland a while after seeing Eternals. Nomadland was such a profound and ming film I can not understand watching it and going ‘yeah, let’s tap this director to direct the film based on the Jack Kirby’s warmed-over New Gods redux. Such synergy!)

There was an Eternals joke in She-Hulk?

I’ve said it for years: the biggest sin in the Potter books is that Voldemort’s arguments are considered morally distasteful, but nothing within the text proves ever proves him wrong. His belief is that, fundamentally, magic makes wizards more powerful than muggles and that this gives them the right of control over…