I always like to add an ornate silver letter opener to my games and seeing what players come up with in their fevered imaginations for what it’s possible true purpose could be.

(The answer? Opening letters.)

I once ran a Star Wars game about infiltrating a Star Destroyer in drydock and the party managed to get stuck in an officer’s dining room for four hours.

Sigh. This happens all the time. Would the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Well it’s about the most boring character in Rogue One, a cast composed exclusively of boring non-entities.

So my hope aren’t high.

Never post first thing after you wake up. I know thus by now, yet I still do it.

I really enjoyed Pikmin 3 but remember being really disappointed it only seemed to be, what, two hours long?

It takes forty minutes for WW to have a single line of dialogue that isn’t clunky exposition, and it ends with the same tedious 45-minute fight sequence as all these movies.

Sure, WW84 is probably worse, but it only makes WW good in comparison. It’s a lousy movie.

Jesus Christ was I in a shitty fucking mood when I wrote this, how embarrassing. Why did I give a shit? What a prat I come off as.

No, I don’t. I only got to that cutscene just now some eight and a half hours into the game.

They haven’t released a successful new game since 2014 and have no current ETAs for putting any games in the near future, meaning it is likely that it will have been at least a full decade since their last successful new release by the time their next game releases.

What metric for ‘good’ are you using?

“you’re always connected to the internet anyway.”

Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, and the first Ghostbusters reboot all belong to a category of movies that are really terrible films but are difficult to critique effectively without inadvertently summoning an army of bad-faith actors who just want to be as misogynistic as possible. The problem with all those movies is…

I just picked up Odyssey, having not played an AC game since... uh, a couple hours of the first one fifteen or so years ago.

So what I got is this puzzling scene with Leonidas of Sparta, an extremely baffling scene of some modern lady who finds a spear and then lays down on a table, but it’s over in two minutes and…

This is a headline news article about... a rehash of an anecdote that’s been known for years. You can find an IGN article that covered this back in 2014, and can probably go back farther if you so bother.

It’s the breathless treating this as something revelatory that I find so vexing.

I loved LOST but those massive episode orders produce a lot of dreck.

Oh, rad! I thought it was a subscription+box thing.

Don’t I have to buy the box?

Does it allow me to finally kill Goofy and bury his body in my virtual backyard so I never again have to hear him do a brain-numbing combat sound in Kingdom Hearts? Or just as revenge for that vore Mickey Mouse Shorts short?

Because if not I am not interested.

Yes but if you watch the trailer you will will very swiftly realize you were mistaken.

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story will be available to stream on Roku pirate Friday, November 4.