Even his nose looks funny when it runs.

You cannot Pisirious.

Update: New suspect in the death of Derek Boogaard

He should probably spend the afternoon at the ENT getting checked for an acute sinus infection.

All the signs of a repeat offender. Even in court, he can't keep his nose clean.

If that snot a look of relief I don't know what is.

Before people get all huffy about going to the hospital for a migraine, intense head pain can be a symptom of stroke, even if no other 'classic' stroke symptoms are present. Maybe Kanye is being over cautious, maybe he has family history and is being suitably cautious. Either way, health worries blow for everyone.

Like losing his shit on a couple of occasions, most memorably the time he throw a catfish's phone into a goddamn river.

Well that explains all of the reviews of Catfish I've read that mention the hostile transphobia and homophobia.

Well let's line up the narratives side by side:

Why do so-called "respectable" or "nice-guy" type men rape women? I have no clue, but it happens ALL THE TIME. Wouldn't those victims' stories seem "off" as well? Maybe he was drinking; maybe he is simply a douchebag. That said, I don't think the story sounds "off."

I hadn't heard about this, but now that I have, I'm kind of relieved to have a legit reason to hate him as much as I do. He's really homo/transphobic, and also a self-absorbed douche. And he's not funny. Or clever. Or attractive. He just has no redeeming qualities. But, since that can all describe, well, most people,…

I hate his face. It makes me want to push him off of his Segway and let my cat scratch his balls to shreds. While all of this is going on my daughter would be screaming "turn down for what???!!!" at the top of her lungs.

This is what Britney looks like when she determines you must be destroyed.

I should have clarified better. There was no homophobia in the Swift song. I was impressed that there was nothing offensive about the video and it was just dudes having a good time.

I missed the homophobia in the Taylor Swift video and didn't agree with the cries of racism. This is terribly cute, though all but one fraternity brother need to really commit to those dance moves!

Joke's on you, buddy: I don't work at the Gawker office! So nobody gets me a gift at all!

Also, Albert, you are extremely full of shit and a hypocrite. If you offered Snackeez cups at a wedding reception or any function with walk-around hors d'oeuvres, everyone would use this to hoard the sliders and bacon-wrapped scallops, INCLUDING YOU, DON'T YOU GODDAMN LIE TO ME, BOY.

Callers were surprised to hear of Burger King's new salad menu based on Kevin's repeated insistence to "lettuce alone"

There was also a version where a pie chart was used, but it didn't last long.