Dammit, now I REALLY wish I'd used "buttholed."

Stop trying to correct shit that isn't wrong. It's a variant, somewhat archaic spelling, but it's still correct.

Goddamn right.

I agree in principal, but these are just businesses that happened to be in Baltimore. They're not affiliated with the team or the league. They didn't have any responsibility to take any specific action at all, so I have to give them credit for doing so. I can't fault the restaurants for not doing anything before now.

FUCK YES, BALTIMORE!!!!!

IF YOU MEAN PANTSFEELINGS THEN YES.

That gif makes me a little TOO happy, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Also, they copied the Pats who did that for Aaron Hernandez. COPIERS.

Smyth's Jewelers (local chain) is doing something as well:

Tag jokes are my favorite jokes.

Oh dear god, do NOT read the comments on facebook. The amount of people who are upset at this business for doing this is sickening.

Yes, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to give that organization ANY credit after the way they completely botched this situation.

I love the header you filed this story under.

I would caution against using a jersey as Hersh's suggests unless you have plumber on call.

Robyn is too busy dancing her ass off to give a shit.

The great war is between death and life, Swift and Perry. If we lose... the night will never end.

I'm on team Lorde, Robyn, or Adele.

Florida has long enjoyed a tradition of open government records, which means a lot of the weird stuff that the cops see winds up available to reporters looking for something to make their readers' jaws drop. So when a retired Tarzan actor got arrested because his pet tigers kept escaping, it made the papers. When a…

.413 is like surgical anesthesia.