When I got to be single I said, I just need to figure myself out.

“I was writing about this show and doing research at the same time. We go on Tinder and probably swiped on everybody in Los Angeles. We were not even looking, just swiping. I had 252 matches that night, and 400 the next day. So I was going through them all, and one of them had a really cute message. And I said, ‘Oh,…

the little wizened carrots represent Charles’ cock

There is now an eighth wonder of the world.

“chewing the cheese stuck on the spoon from her onion soup.”

I’m totally gonna watch it tho.

This looks like it was made in 2002. Or like one of the joke movie previews from 30 Rock—Martin Luther King Day.

And that’s def Canada, besides the Air Canada airliner there’s a Home Hardware in the background of the “oregano arrest”.

Henry Cavill speaks and we are all Ben Affleck.

I’m not feeling it. I would rather just have the cash. 

“They’re never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream,” the source said.

I actually think that’s the correct / intended way of pronouncing it.

I’ve just been pronouncing XXXtentacion extension and that’s fine I think.

I would very much enjoy the money and the ability to ride Prince Hot Ginge’s royal fleshscepter whenever I wanted, but everything else about being a royal sounds like a lesser level of hell to me. She held her husband’s elbow at an event? She crossed her legs at the knee? She expressed an opinion?!?! CRUCIFY THE HUSSY.

“She say my fuck, and my tongue game a remedy.”

Goddammit Jacinda.  Now Gabriel Macht is going to have to come to his wife’s defense and I’m going to have to realize he’s kind of a dick.....

Jezebel should interview that one other woman who was apparently attending their date as a third wheel. What was it like to try and talk to Don and Kim while they were all over each other? Did she even try? Or did she just sit there, in resolute silence, staring intently at her plate while trying not to see or hear…

This is my beef with Gisele. She always manages to be an asshole, even when the core of what she is saying isn’t that bad. I get the notion that you would not want to have the career and added social media pressure that these younger models have. But then you have to add the “older and wiser” comment, like they are…