1. John Wilkes Booth

Subtitled, “Using Nepotism to Architect Your Future.”

It’s not like this is the first time American Assholes overplayed their hand...

No, I think everyone needs to see this. Yes, you’re seeing a person get severely injured, maybe killed, but it’s not particularly gory and it’s incredibly important. 

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Open Scene: Mike Pence sits in his office talking to his executive assistant

How Does a Chimpanzee Eat a Tortoise? By Smashing It Like a Coconut

Yup. They’ve got me.

Can I say something being the second oldest dude here? Game of Thrones premiered April 17, 2011. A sane man occupied the White House, the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell signed, Saddam Hussein dead, Occupy Wall Street, The HARRY POTTER movies ended, and Gabriel Giffords survived a senseless attack. The excitement…

There is a certain edifying clarity that comes from living in these, our fallen times: you begin to see that the country is riddled, mostly through its upper (not just tippy-top) classes, with borderline sociopaths, seething misogynists, neo-monarchists, high-key racists, and outright fascists.

We’re all pulling for you, Mayor Pete. 

“Why not try a bigger lens? Optical zoom? Other things that real photographers would notice and not phone nerds?”

I refuse to accept the idea that the Clintons are a political dynasty. Bill and Hillary are a power couple, but they’re the same generation. Neither of them came from some powerful family with connections. They got to where they are together.

I am but a distant appalled foreigner who has family in Virginia, but my unrequested suggestion would be for the rapey one to resign “to facilitate a thorough investigation” and then the racisty one to appoint a replacement, ideally a black woman, and then the racisty one to resign “to work in a more supporting role as…

Obviously I don’t really care, because Melania sucks, but I wonder if she and her staff are being treated with the same respect as previous FLOTUS’. It seems they’re not, which is fine because all of these people deserve to be miserable. 

As a Norwegian, I can confidently say that you should never be proud of being any amount of Swedish.

Bitch.... Michelle O accomplished more in her life BEFORE she became first lady than you and your whole tornado bait trailer trash family have ever even read about. Double Ivy League Graduate. Lawyer. Hospital Administrator. Mother. Go getter. Accomplisher of many things, not the least of which is to be married to a…

Thanks Beth, your article serves as journalistic lodestar to the rest of this nation.

“Don’t thrust anyone over 30"