The iPhone, Android, computer or tablet you’re typing this on begs to differ. 

I’m in for way more than a tenner if he does it.

Paging David Tracy...

I love this story. 

I think hope we humans do a double-take when we see a car with its hood up on the side of the road. I do anyway. So it actually does get me to look at the car lot. 

Let’s be honest: none of us really care that you already wrote about a Wagoneer project. We love the journey and the crazy/insane things you have to do to get there.

I once had a similar experience in a private jet (I’m not a baller, but my client was a wannabe so...) flying into Detroit City airport. A steep descent and major crosswinds meant we came in at a HUGE angle to the runway. It was way scarier than I thought it would be. 

BMW claims 22 mpg on the highway with the V8 while the six-cylinder version is good for a claimed 26. Both are meant to burn 93-octane gasoline, though.

PS, can I haz out of grayz? 

Where’s the Volvo love here? Tons of off-lease V60s, XC60s and even the occasional XC90 in the price range in Minneapolis.

I know everyone is ragging on you, but you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Remote sensing keys are silly and lead to all sorts of inconveniences. Two examples:

This is a REALLY nice GT, but damn what a Crack Pipe. 

This is a gooooood call. 

This is probably a slight CP, but I’d vote Niiiice anyway, because I love these Airhead GS models. Get them down to $5,500 and I’m in. 

This is the right call. Containment is critical. 

For true dirtbag status you really need a beat-up old Ford Ranger, Nissan Hardbody or Toyota pickup with a hard-shell bed cover. Ideally, you would build a false floor for your mattress and stow gear underneath.

Like catnip, we can’t resist the deranging effects of straight-six news. Mazda, you evil geniuses. You know us too well.

You have far more experience driving literal death traps than I do, but I’d caution on the Liberty. My girlfriend, now wife, drove one when we were younger. It was the only vehicle that has ever truly scared me to drive. And that includes plenty of Series Land Rovers and CJs.

Erin’s XC40 is the right call. I was going to suggest an off-lease XC60. Sexy-suburban aesthetic and different enough while still being super nice.

Bravo! We never really doubted you...much. I’ve said this before, but this series is the best thing on Jalopnik. You’ve got the tenacity and good humor to make it work - and I love following you on the way.