Is a scanner that can’t differentiate between hair and a weapon really that useful??

I’m going to be 245 years old this year (thank you Satan) and I was there when they won.

CarFax missed two open recalls on my car, one was 2 years old the other 3. Fortunately Jaguar sent me a letter after I registered it.

I wouldn’t categorize the 4Runner as a ‘classic’.

Awh, you’re all losers in my book. Now let daddy get back to his hangover.

Frying bacon in a pan is the worst way to make bacon. Bake it, on an elevated rack over a baking pan.  425 until it’s as crispy as you like.

Do people buy Lotus to drive them daily?

I never liked sugary cereals, my favorite as a kid (and even now) was Grape Nuts.

Maybe she found a ‘comfortable’ spine to sit on. I’ll show myself out.....................

Mary Berry annoys me. There I said it, I’d say it again if I had to.

‘the cardio was usually limited to running away to freedom.’

Now that is good cardio, you get the arms and legs moving, plug swinging a club or a cutlass is great for the core.

If someone say stayed the night at my house and then got up the next day and started eating cereal with water I would straight up murder them.

‘I would’ve had to co-parent with my rapist.’

Did he spit, or swallow?

Except put on a shirt apparently?

It’s dangerous to be black and muslim in America? GET OUT! Did you guys splurge on a ‘Obvious Headline’ algorithm for the site?

I like to add taco seasoning to falafel mix.

I would pull over and kick my own ass for driving this.

You keep trotting out VW garbage like this, and yet people complain about your hair.