I hope he used a tilt shift and blurred everything around the ambulance.

Also a fair representation of Drew’s reaction when a black person tries to talk to him on the subway.

There was a family on my swim team that was all lactose intolerant. Me and some of my buddies decided to mix up a bag of chex mix to hand out to everybody that was dusted in pure lactose.

Just before our van entered the desert for a three-day photography excursion, I stuck a purple Skittle into my overweight buddy's bellybutton (at least two inches deep) while he was sleeping… And then I forgot about it until were coming out of the desert, so I mentioned it to him and he started to dig around,…

I played D3 lacrosse and we had a blast on road trips. We brought liquor for our long away rides and our coach got carsick so he never noticed. The bus left the games nice and quiet and returned to campus a rowdy party bus (without the SAE chants). Every year we would fly somewhere for spring break and make pot…

TL;DR - Young hockey players are the fucking worst.

On my high school baseball team's bus, I would trick the other dipshits into doing the 'Atomic Sit-up' which of course ended with another boy's face running into my bare ass-crack. This was always followed by surprise, anger, threats etc, yet would always lead to 'Let's get someone else!'

Once on the bus back from a hockey trip to the twin cities a teammate(star of the team) tried to wake up another teammate (one of the worst players on the team) and fart directly in his face with his pants around his ankles.

The team I played for in High School once shaved a reverse mohawk into a guys head who fell asleep on the way home from a game. I wholeheartedly back Number 1 in your post.

What would prompt anyone to ever get a Warner Bros tattoo on themselves? Like are you serious right now?

I'm not discussing any more until the patent is approved.

Holy shit, that would be terrible. Having to wear a hand diaper!

Depends would make gloves.

Yeah, but think about what happens when you get old and incontinent. You walk over to Ralph at the Wendy's where all the old folks hang out in the morning, extend your hand for a handshake, and old Ralph ends up covered in piss. And now he hates you.

I would suggest it comes out at penis speed. Blasting firehose when you are young, dripping running powerless crap dick speed when you're old (I assume that what happens to us, correct me if not).

Yes, but as we've already seen, Winston is coming in whether he's invited or not.

Wow, I was ready to go in and hate-read the shit out of that AMA but that dude is hell of cool.

Oh you bastard, I can't stop reading this now. there goes my night...

I knew before I clicked that this guy would be in Pittsburgh.