‘80s jocks were right - nerds are bad fucking news.

I’d drink too if my car was endlessly prone to vapor lock.

Just tell Lucius you promise to destroy it after you’re done

There’s really nothing remarkable here. Lots of athletes take time out of their schedule to visit retarded children.

This whole “OBEY ANY AND EVERY ORDER YOU ARE GIVEN OR YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS ARE FORFEIT” deal aboard airliners is getting really old.

If this was the 80s, he would have lead the team to victory as Queen played in the background, and he would yell to the quarterback (who was also suspended for most of the season for being a rebel), “Hallensworth! You’re trouble.” To which Johnny Hallensworth would reply “Yeah. I am.” And Couch Hot Dong would call…

D.B. Pooper