Don’t forget that he nearly got killed on 9/11 because he had the city’s emergency command center installed in the shadow of the WTC—the very highest-profile target in the city!—because he wanted to use it as a love nest but wife #3 (then merely a mistress) didn’t want to have to schlep to Brooklyn to get it on.

It’s like the political universe had to get back for “No Drama Obama” by giving us this fucking Katrina-sized shitstorm of non-stop scandal to restore balance or something.

Are you kidding? Whenever I need a lesson in morals my first stop is an old Catholic dude with multiple divorces. They’re such good people.

Considering his biggest “controversy” was looking good in a tan suit

Yeah, but he was black; we were supposed to be worrying about him being black, which apparently is way worse than being blatantly evil in public.

I’m from Harlem, born in late spring 82. I fucking hate Guiliani and never forget his shenanigans.

DUDE! WTF!?!?

Every day, friend.

I think I can guess what he’s into...

Married his cousin, was schtupping his press secretary while married to his second wife - after telling the press he was returning to Gracie Mansion that Fathers Day to play ball with his son while he was literally fucking this woman in the basement of city hall - then divorced said second wife on television because…

Remember when Barack was President and we didn’t have to worry about who anyone was fucking and what porn they were watching?

my man married his (second) cousin so I’m guessing it rhymes with “spin fest”

You know this fucker thinks a “VPN” is an STD.

It’s the easiest thing in the world to imagine that a privileged schmuck like Giuliani has never even considered using a VPN.

Stop and Frisk Harrass

Well luckily this is just a Twitter beef and not an actual court case, because an IP address is not sufficient proof in itself. You could say you let someone use your computer, or that someone used your wifi connection.

The list The Root creates are too complicated. Just start and end with “any activity done while breathing”

I would suggest the only thing you can do that will guarantee you not getting arrested is be dead while black. Anything other than that is a crap shoot, including, but not limited to:

That would only happen if they were Black owned!

11 years in BOH did wonders for my world view. Working 10-12 hour days with cats from El Salvador (or Guatemala, or pick one) and hearing what they went through to get to America versus me just being born here can change your perspective quick. Don’t fuck with service industry folks; it’s a goddamn hard enough way to…