Ross was identified by his clothing

"...allowing Lecavalier to get an undefended shot in."

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

According to literature, there are lots of men from Nantucket.

TIM MARCHMAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR THE REST OF THE DEADSPIN STAFF.

Or (if you dare)

His all-time favorite player? Paw Molitor.

The Houston Astros have put in a trade offer due to Hank's peerless ability to take a dump in right field.

I don't know what else the Russians could have expected when they built the hotels out of straw and sticks.

Hey diddle diddle,
I punched her over spittle.

[whistles innocently]

Consensus National Champions? Well there's your problem right there. Ain't no school from Alabama gonna win if we have to talk to some Yankee door-knocker before they call us champions. War Eagle and get off my damn property.

Say what you will, it's refreshing to see people in Alabama take the position that something can evolve.

Mildly entertaining. Now let's do an American Football fan describing the World Cup.

"There's a person that comes on to kick the ball, and doesn't do anything else, and yet gets paid millions of dollars."

I thought Andre Agassi retired.

Oh man, he is going to be so confused later when people ask him what his handicap is.

Another theory has it that the FBI got an anonymous tip about pictures of Miners.

The enforced secrecy is due to the fact that the UTEP players won't be charged as adults.