I read the headline was “Did you know Maggie Gylenhall and Peter Sarsgaard have fucked in teak bathtub” which was a lot of information!

He truly is the David Spade of the Millenial generation.

Bed-shitting puppies>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Pete Davidson.

He’s like the lost puppy who keeps getting found by the cute girls who wind up giving him away because they can’t break him of shitting the bed.

I mis-read the headline, and thought that Gwyneth Paltrow had sued the other party, even though SHE caused the crash.

Sounds like something Goopy would do.  Mow someone down then rush off for a coffee-grounds enema.

I don’t get why girl babies and boy babies need different stuff. They’re babies. This pink and blue car seat shut is weird and just confusing in this time of changing gender roles/the acceptance of non-binary identities. 

I couldn’t help but wonder... was this a last hurrah? Or are we just trying to milk the crowd?

After a few days in Japan I’d learnt that meals include soup. I then learnt that Tempura sauce isn’t soup.

I ate a bowl of mayonnaise two weeks before I gave birth. I topped it with a pour of warmed tartar sauce and ate it with a spoon like ice cream. I used an ice cream scooper to dole out the mayo. It was one of the best tasting things I have ever eaten.

Ants, live, a whole left over sodas' worth. I was about 13. So much shrieking and vomiting ensued. 100s of ants... And it was more the sensensation of the live ants desperately trying to climb out of my through and mouth that kept my gag reflex active for hours days weeks...

I’m surprised your mom hoses through that for you. Most mothers would make you do the dirty work yourself. Also, is telling your parents you swallowed something a thing? I swallowed buttons, ect. And just asked the science teacher what would happen. He said they would pass. I moved on with my life. It was 20 years ago…

Won’t help. From my experience HR departments, no matter what they say, are there to protect the company, not the employees.

I, as an American working in immigration law, would also like to be left alone in Canada.

I love him so much.  Pimento and Derek are the best things on TV.

After my granFanda died, I discovered she had snuck little bits of money into money markets, CD’s and savings accounts in my name since my birth. I was notified of this by her sister via a post card with my first clue (because she made it a treasure hunt). All told she left me 24k. The knowledge of that money, of the…

I once got Mozzarella sticks with my dinner at Applebees

90210 were BRILLIANT on birth control. Still scorched on my mind ... Brenda and Dylan have just started going out and are maybe going to do it ... Brenda talking to Kelly, who’s just passed her a condom from her own bedside supply: B: “condoms? they’re so clinical”. K: “No dear. Abortions are clinical.” BOOM. :)

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I’ve read way too much about this royal wedding but hold up: not only was Robbie Williams at the wedding and hopped on a table at the party afterward to sing, but his daughter was a bridesmaid? Everyone has friends, and Euge seems like a fun-loving gal, but they’re really that close?