@hej516: Apparently jokes will never get me a star at Jez.

@kitsuneconundrum: Ugh.

@ender89: Just wait for us to remake it here, shot for shot, but in English.

@Clixx13: To be fair though, they are both made of wheat.

@☆Giroro G66☆: Quarter-pounder syrup.

@d3c509b aka Steve: I took a picture of a dog puking into Nick Nolte's open, welcoming mouth.

@Battle Wagon: What the hell are those?

@mattb1: Haha, at first I read that and was like "but lenses is spelled the same way bo- oh."

@JinxyMcDeath: Does the Talmud really say that when someone is grieving, you say nothing?

As long as you're not a bridesmaid or the best man or something, I doubt anyone will care what you're wearing.

@phitch: The last stats I heard said that while speeding doesn't increase the likelihood of a wreck significantly, it does increase the chances of a fatality.

@shazaam42: I can't tell if you're joking, but those were the most absurd reasons to disappear legally.

@Monty: Yeah. Take that, Facebook!

What happens when the next generation, born on the space ship and in charge of future operations, doesn't want to? They took a vote, and they want to take the ship to a party instead.

@SGTalon: Mars Direct sounds like a really rad eBay store.

@t('-'t): Haha. Thank you.

@ComradeAlexie: Yeah. It's not like we're talking about work trucks or the family car or something.

@Q8hawk: "Invest."

@Metro Charts: Yeah. I only want to hear about news that happens everywhere at the same time.

@Austin Stephen: It's actually just a common children's game. If she had been eating a banana, she would have held it up and said "I just dialed 911."