Thug = a violent criminal.

Still waiting for the girl who wants to know why is there poop in her thong.

But who will poison the Latino Kotaku?

The Navy’s Most Shadowy Spy Is 450 Feet Long & Named After Jimmy Carter

It also makes for incredible lube (provided your partner isn’t allergic to coconuts).

A cursory glance into the towing company’s online reputation suggests they deserved MUCH worse than this woman’s rant.

Nice work, Tara Jacoby.

How are any of these humblebrags? Most are just statements of fact (Michael Caine). Maybe some are bragging. A humblebrag needs a dose of false humility like “I looked so disgusting I can’t believe so many guys were hitting on me!”

Merely Malodorous is a dynamite name for a punk band.

Well, except maybe Evelyn Waugh.

That's some fine police work, Lou.

My favorite part was when you said you were a good fucking mother. That brought the LULZ.

"Two years ago, I used it to navigate my way to cafes with the best avo toast in Melbourne;"

You know what else SOUNDS horrific? Green eggs and ham.

10: Don't forget to hook up the doll.

I am a dude.

The way the person spoke to me made it seem like this was more of a "problem" situation.

This is…strange.

"Envisioned by pretend guru and former legume…"

Dying.

Well that and a $9 price tag.