Mind you, even if Roe v. Wade is struck down, people will still find ways to get abortions

Obama was in Florida today, courting that senior vote. But he took the gloves off and laid the Big Hand on both Ivanka’s beard and his dumbass father-in-law: taking them to task for the “black people have to want to be successful” comment and the comparisons to Lincoln, respectively. The latter is another one of…

With his appearance, did he lock up the 25-35 self-important raging white male hopped on creatine and apple cider vinegar demographic?

I just sat through President Child’s interview with Lesley Stahl, to where he walked out. Enter Mike Pence.

D&M are gonna have to one-up having a poop plant named after them to catch that Emmy now. Damn.

Take this POS out to the woodshed tonight, Uncle Joe. Shred his ass. 

He’s such a fucking idiot... that if you walked up to any stranger and just said those words, they would know who you mean. 

Finally, somebody gets it. 

You know how you’ve found yourself saying, over the past 4+ years, that you honestly just don’t understand how anybody could vote for this motherfucker? Me too. And I’m telling you, it really started to mean something when we first learned he was separating kids from their parents, as a deterrent to escaping danger in…

Now show me the lie, Senator Graham.

“In fairness to Mr. Melon... he did write us a pretty big check.” - Dean (David) Martin, Grand Lakes University

It’s not because Joe Biden has a penis. It’s because when Joe laughs, it doesn’t sound like he rehearsed it 1,000x in front of a mirror. The man is flat-out genuine, and that’s compared to all his contemporaries.

It would seem a very American thing to do, to react after the fact (also see climate change). I can readily support this theory.

Might it be as simple as: most people don’t follow politics closely, and many didn’t take Trump seriously until it was evident he’d win the nomination. Well-spoken mother of grown children from central PA did not particularly care for Hillary Clinton, reasons unstated, and maybe felt a bit disenfranchised from her…

With $400, you can buy a lot of tinfoil.

“Let’s look a little cute — not really cute, but just enough (that the waiter wants to take me back to the walk-in and fuck me from behind)... And I did.”

What a fun-filled court it’s shaping up to be: Supreme Court justices can now attend Bible study in the morning with Barrett, then throw down some brewskis with Kav before settling in to some BBC porn with Clarence. (Just ignore Sotamayor making the wanking motion, over there in the corner).

“Yes, I’ve been groomed for this position for years through the Federalist Society, I knew exactly what Trump was looking for when I wrote that opinion about Roberts’ decision to vote with the liberal minority on the ACA case from 2015, and— okay you got me— for weeks I’ve been secretly praying to God each evening to…

What’s saving us that Trump is a vain-ass moron who can’t keep his trap closed. The next President who taps an AG to serve his needs like this might just be a diabolical and capable motherfucker, who doesn’t need to hear his name said on television every 12 minutes.