Zero fucks given to anybody who still needs this explained to them. That goes ditto for the definition of racism, the difference between protesters and looters, or how viruses get transferred. I’m just waiting for that guy— and there’s plenty of them, so it could be any one— to pop off on our weekly conference call and…

Little known fact about that statue: it’s from a picture taken when somebody had asked Frank how many n******s he beat up today.

I saw a girl on the local news who said (to white reporter): well, maybe we’re doing this so you won’t want it to happen again. Maybe this is what has to happen (for you to finally get the message).

It’s like if your spouse cheats on you, after years of neglect or abuse. Yeah, s/he’s wrong... but you actually deserved…

How about this? Looks like we might see charges brought soon against the three scumbags who did nothing as Derek murdered George, and I just learned that because I’ve been crazy on-time with all my rent over the years, that I’m the real hero here.

I just stole this. Ty

L: Richie Cunningham’s evil, molesting uncle.
R: some dopey fuck with wing sauce smeared all over his face.

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Is there any way we can organize to send this guy a few thousand dildos, like we did those whacks who took over the bird sanctuary?

I tried warning everybody, about 20 years ago: if you teach grandpa how to use the internet, all he’s going to do is search for more Rush Limbaugh. But you fuckers just love to show everyone how much you know about everything, and, well, here we are.

Say what you want about Huckalugee, at least you knew she was a real human being. I mean that literally; there is just no way some scientist made that in a lab somewhere or beamed it down from outer space. But McEnany, seriously? Her lies and dodges are almost too coordinated, her eyes scan across the room as if…

He’s just like that driver of the semi-truck yesterday: got his beer muscles but crapped out when it came time to throw down. Anybody who supports Trump is just like him: all bark and turn-tail.

Dad, can I bring my Switch to the bunker?

Ya ever think, maybe Lincoln had it wrong... and we should have just let those southern states go their own way 150 years ago?

“She had a whole plan on becoming a nurse and buying a house and then starting a family. Breonna had her head on straight, and she was a very decent person.” - Tamika Palmer, Breonna’s mother.

And you completely ignore the coffee-cup salute? Socialist. 

Whenever you watch Jeanine Pirro, it’s like watching her do a takeoff on Cecily Strong doing a takeoff on Jeanine Pirro. Her soul is gone, she’s just all caricature now. 

I’m really trying to see the positives in this whole experience... namely, what can we learn?

Welp, I hate to advocate sitting this one out for the time being, but... I’m curious to see the response when Biden selects Klobuchar or Warren; with the reasoning that he needs the Midwest or the Bernie votes more so than the black vote and he ain’t winning Georgia anyway, so...

Jeff Foxworthy: if your mother failed to iron her USA tee shirt that she wears to lean outside the Ram 1500 and yell nonsensically at healthcare workers....