Seriously, someone help me out and tell me how we make this stop.

It’s fun to think about the Tampontreal ExpoRays

Remember how, for a time, we all thought Kansas was the most fucked up state in the country? And then Florida? Lately, it’s like Alabama is roaring back to reclaim its title.

I knew all that before I replied to Mr RageWriting up there, of course.

Were you “rage writing” 40 minutes apart?

these same imbeciles forget the fact that warren was a republican senator

Bernie is just too damned honest for politics, man.

I wish those two would just fuck, already.

Pick a side, for Fuks’ sake. 

Just so long as it’s not to keep from crying ;)

“Bob said she and her husband were murderers who would destroy the country. He thought she was an evil person and a socialist.”

Carlson, whose face is perpetually frozen in a state between concern and confusion

teens now have to be career-minded, perfect little angels beginning at childhood

Starley Cup Chanpiars?

You’ve been on cruise control for miles, mostly empty highway. You come upon a convoy of cars in the right lane, catching up at a steady rate. Just as you approach, the last car in line jumps into your lane, likely without signaling, causing you to turn off cc and adjust to his speed. Which will now be equal to the…

It’s like his kid-eating fangs have pierced through his chin.

He’d actually be a better looking man if he’d been born with his head upside down... you know, like Tom Tucker’s kid.

Stage 3 of 12 of the conversion to Human Earwig.

And Jesus said, Come Forth, and you shall receive Eternal Light. But John came fifth, and won…

This is a good take, that the cynic in me wants to accept. Unfortunately, I still believe the Speaker’s strategy is much simpler: work like Hell behind the scenes to get Biden the nomination, because she firmly believes he’s the only candidate who can beat Trump (plus, you know, old schoolers gotta stick together).…

I love AOC, but how is she not a complete dick here?

I think Brett Kavanaugh is the face of the libs getting owned, in the era of Trump. Justice Beerchug is the face and Trump is the ass. McConnell, he’s the dick.

Battery mates.