Oh...My...God. Imagine a reality where Carrie Fischer’s afterlife job is actually to endlessly and creatively haunt the shit out of exploitative assholes in the entertainment industry.

Perhaps literally...picture her throwing a ghost voice so every time her target goes to the bathroom the “voice of his conscience”…

As a trans woman I can tell you that stright men love dick. They fucking *love* it. Yet I am cursed to be a trans lesbian. Le sigh.

Right now, there are penises being judged. Hated. Despised.

Hush hush I got lambasted a while back on another Jez article for expressing this VERY SAME OPINION, albeit satirically.

HAH!...I actually think dicks are often kinda great looking, but then I need the context of the entire man for this to be true.

It’s a metaphor. No one is saying penises literally look like rotten maggot-infested produce. It’s just a more colorful way of saying that it’s something that no one wants to look at unbidden.

I happen to be a straight woman who finds penii quite physically attractive.
But not that stranger!dick
... and not myboss’!dick
In fact, I have to be pretty into the guy and excited in the moment to appreciate the aesthetics of a real live penis.
Point being, some of us ladies really do like them! But it ALWAYS requires…

Tsk, tsk. I want all the distraught straight men to know that many of us find penises beautiful to look at. Unfortunately for them, most of us are gay men. But I want them to know, if they’re sick of having their beautiful penises disrespected and laughed at, we’re waiting with open...arms.

hmmmmm while I love the smarmy PSA tone and the “no duh” logic chain that says “don’t masturbate in front of underlings of colleagues”, IDK about the “your dick is so ugly and looks like a rotting eggplant”. Why is that supposed to help? Can we now say “your vulva looks like rotting meat, no man wants to see it, let’s…

Oh I remember this. The fact that she thought her terrible paintings were worthy of the beautiful national parks she used as her canvas, and then her flippant attitude when she was called out, calling herself and “artist,” and THEN the Cosmo article framing her as some sort of rebel hero - it was all maddening. The…

I bet that guy NEVER tires of these kinds of jokes. Poor guy. lol

I sympathize with this 100%. People have always been dicks though - the neolithic chambered cairn at Maeshowe in Orkney that druidy types get obsessed with, which is like thousands of years old, is also JAMMED FULL of wall to wall 7th-8th century Norse rune graffiti cos a bunch of Vikings got stuck there for a couple…

God.

He was investigating the removal and rearrangement of neolithic stones as the possible work of dark wizards for an ancient dark ritual. But it turned out it was just muggles being dumbasses.

In retrospect I should have said
“Click on my works, ye Mighty, and share.”

Excellent.

Daniel Ratcliffe, inspector of ancient monuments at Historic England South West, said: “Two circuits of stone-built ramparts survive at Stowe’s Pound within which there are remains of house platforms and cairns, and it is from these ancient archaeological features that many of the stones are being taken to…

And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Bryce, King of Pinterest;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and Pin!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

The nerfherder scene would have been the one to use. But kudos for trying.