tl;dr: we’re fucked but half of us knew that.

Throughout the campaign, Trump flew back to NYC nearly every single night because he can’t stand sleeping away from Trump Tower. Now he’s got to spend four years in Washington. He hates this.

“So you have no plans for the job and no desire to do it, eh? Fuck yeah you’re hired.”

Both lived, but one’s ability to believe in love died.

“He makes one last plea to the female... but she has no time for losers.” Brutal stuff from the narrative team.

Well I guess it’s true what they say, the truth is stranger than Pingu adult fan fiction.

That humiliating hop over the branch at the end...smh

I can’t believe the other penguins just stand around doing virtually nothing. I guess a few of them got their phones out and started filming, but that doesn’t really do anything about the immediate problem. It’s really sad, a sign that our society is going down the drain.

However she got the last one is how she’ll get the next one.

I don’t pretend to know the whole story here, but what a bitch.

One bled over the cuckold’s nest

I had a friend move in with me ostensibly because she decided not to buy a house that she was leasing with an option. When she moved out of my house (some 2+ years later) I found a letter from a real estate company saying that she had voided her house sitting arrangement by failing to keep the house in a showable…

There are two kinds of people in the world...

One time I got this series of texts from my dad:

Oh shit. Your neighbor was the tooth fairy!

Grandpa?

I was fortunate enough not to see it. 

Once, while visiting an elderly neighbor, she asked me to get her reading glasses from the middle desk drawer. They were there, alongside a clear quart-sized ziploc bag filled (FULLY FILLED) with teeth.

In response to Michelle’s comments, Melania Trump said, “Uh, no, not really. No, because you have to be in it, if you’re in it, and if you don’t agree you’d should have agreed before they ran. Bottom line is, if I didn’t agree with what Barack was saying, I would not support his run. So...I stand there proudly, and I…