But on the internet, which was a mistake

You’re like Rafi from The League, but somehow worse and stupider.

“Sure, the NFL is rigged, but it’s rigged in favor of a handful of teams, not just one,” is not a defense of the NFL.

Big Ben literally did not get the same advantage last week.

I don’t buy it. It’s in the best interests of the league to have the largest media markets possible in the Super Bowl and London is way bigger than Boston.

Two of the best players to come out of Duke think the world is flat, dinosaurs didn’t exist, 9/11 may or may not have been an inside job, and do “research” by reading random instagram pages. I blame Coach K.

Better than a new U2 album.

“hello the owner of this phone Courtney. I am buying an iPad.”

This is the worst Giants season of my life and their two wins is still double the win total of the Browns past 33 games.

It has to be uppity black people. It certainly isn’t the cost of tickets/parking/concessions; poor responses to domestic violence and brain trauma; that no one knows what a catch is; that the league’s punishment is inconsistent and makes the commissioner look like a idiot; that the league has saturated the market with…

I’m amazed Manfred agreed to go into such a hostile environment, though this interview lays bare he is a massive tool.

Nice

I wanted the man with the red rose to be Lando so fucking bad. They could have still done the DJ plot and kept the Lando cameo that short and I would have squeed so hard

“When they go low, we go high” sounds good until you realize that, in practice, they’re landing kidney punches while you are swinging at empty air.

I do not throw a baseball with my hand; I throw a baseball with my heart.

You throw a baseball with your hand.

I’m not racist. I have white friends. Namaste!

And the 2017 “I Can’t Believe I’m Fucking Doing This, I Was In Harry Potter, Who Are These Imbeciles. I Need To Fire My Agent” award goes to Emma Watson for “The Circle”.

Here’s Jordan’s performance on the VORP leaderboard over his career: