He’s black.

“Hurkka durkka murder rate” -you

Valid points. But what if they were free?

I’m not big on gold chains and pendants, but this intrigues me. Is there one where the pizza is whole? I do not have 7 friends.

Are you an issue of Cosmo? Then WHY am I listening to your advice?!

See, that’s the thing. You don’t want to mash your finger on the button. Use a little finesse. Listen to your partner for cues.

He has a penchant for beating people who have boobs

My favorite part is when the guy who’s being “held back” breaks free for a second, goes halfway, but then decides, “Oh, uh, I think I need to take my shirt off before I mess this dude up. Like, y’know, just long enough for someone to come hold me back again....”

And we might get a sequel! From yesterday:

As a Vikings fan, I will never not blame Blair Walsh.

“It would have been a really good call if we would have made it,”

If this gets more than five stars I’m going to light myself on fire.

Dude, they hide the actual jizz. If you’re like me and are constantly getting jizzed on, they’re a life saver.

Before anyone makes a case for Kaep, I will remind you that Brock is quite tall

I think we should be more worried about BIG FIG.

I didn’t know there were milk truthers.

the student who was hit has been to the hospital twice because of post-concussion syndrome

Make up your damn minds people. I can only cancel/uncancel this Papa John’s order so many times.

He uses Bing.

I recognize that glow on their faces. They totally feel asleep while watching HGTV.