Dungy's real problem with Sam is that he needs to get him out of the way in order to steal the ring back from Frodo.

Remember kids, you can't spell "Tony Dungy is a close-minded homophobe, a two-faced situational liar, and a conveniently pious hypocrite" without "Tony Dungy."

That's a black man in the US saying that Sam shouldn't have a chance because it wouldn't be smooth.

Simmons: And maybe LeBron was thinking it was more like that story The Lottery where the 'winner' of the lottery gets stoned to death? That would suck, huh? Unless it was my buddy Sully, that guy's so fat he has a protective force field like he's the Death Star. And maybe then he started thinking how that's sort of…

In his defense, it's probably not fair to single out his homophobia. I, for one, am willing to give him credit and say that Marshall Henderson probably has very dumb thoughts about a lot of other things, too.

"Who is the worse person, me for what I said or any of the HUNDREDS who just cursed me??"

I object to this picture. As a divorced 40 year old man who is spending his Saturday night commenting on internet boards, this image of a person who is not alone and bitter about it is unappreciated. Thanks, ESPN.

She's in the attic!!!

That's cool and all, but following sports got easier when I cut the entire website (and tv channels) out of my internet.

ESPN: This has been a tough decision for us Rick, but you're fired.

Oh, he cranked something out all right, I'm not sure if 'columns' is the right word for it.

@barryap1 had it first on Twitter!

He's looking for a different work schedule after a very long time of cranking out columns week after week.

Not pictured: Matt Schaub sucking ass.

In his defense, Weitzell was just trying to get a sense of his team's hang time.

UNH Facilities Employee: "Mr. Weitzell, I've just found a peephole drilled through the wall of one of our basketball locker rooms!"

Apparently he had the phone's camera set to automatically start recording via sound recognition software programmed to "Rhythmic Slapping."

Three years ago, I was the only scout saying Rondo is overrated, and I was crucified for it.

Perfect for Cruising.

Briskey recognized her horrible mistake the instant she saw that Shepherd did in fact bleed crimson.