Juicy-looking, achingly unattainable, and, ultimately, probably disappointing if/when obtained.

I actually threw my arms and yelled "Yeah!" at the end of this

Even if Suri Cruise DID have a fashion line, it would be 100% bullshit. Seven-year-old girls don't buy their own clothes. Someone else buys them and likely does most of the "picking out." If given free rein, my 7-year-old would dress like a drug-addled disco hobo.

I'm finding myself captivated by Miley in this jumpsuit. Don't ask me to explain.

Be careful, Arya. He might put you in the friendzone. Trust me. It supersucks. Love, Ser Jorah.

I love this whole look. And we need a "find it!" for this skirt (probably for a more reasonable price).

" That honor is normally reserved for whichever white, skinny, female celebrity has a movie out, Kate Moss, and Gisele. Upton, a swimsuit model and a relative outsider to the world of high fashion, doesn't really fit that mold." Really? You seriously wrote that without laughing? Good for you, Jenna. You're a real…

It's nice to see Kate Upton wearing a bathing suit that actually fits her.

my crack pretty much got taken, but I'll say it anyway...a white, female, blonde, not as skinny model is on the cover. Progress, obvi. #noonecurr

I also learned that it's important to wash your bras fairly regularly because the "oil from our skin breaks down the elasticity of the fabric if we don't wash them every time." Puke, and also: DULY NOTED.

If this movie doesn't work out, at least he'll manage to be a Pantene model

my eyes! my eyes!

I love pairing a black boxer with a complementary white shoe.

Dear Lindy,

Poor, poor Leo. He'll be drying his tears with the lingerie of supermodels.

None parties. Though I plan to drink like it's prohibition.

"[L]ook at the eyes. She's giving him eyes!"

Oh ew. Ew. EW! Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Vaguely? Try extremely. Why she is with this dude when she can have her pick of any good looking, rich, YOUNG man in the world is a mystery to me. But then again, The Olsen twins have been weird for a couple of years now so I guess it's not THAT much of a mystery.

Tell me more about masculinity, Purple Poopy Pants.