You should try to loosen up. And apparently at least 355 people thought he was clever and/or funny...which in the grand scheme of humanity isn’t a lot but it’s well above average here and monumentally better than the one rec your mom gave your one-comment burner comeback.

I haven’t seen an NHL player’s parents this excited about him making it big since Jack Johnson made his debut.

Ummm...was dad out grabbing a beer for the second goal. That would be GREAT parenting.

“ Trump’s team had (as of Wednesday) literally no pages”

Are you small right now?

Fock you, the pyramids were built by Steve Martin. He had a condo made of stone-a.

No the pyramids were built by humans. They were just ruled by evil snake parasite aliens.

Minority? But she’s living in a material world. And she’s a material girl.

Calgary lost because Giordano didn’t pet the dog, right?

Always the Tiffany, never the Ivanka, eh Chris?

I made my dad marry my mom

Should’ve included the quote for the Divine Right civic:

He gets killed in the launch trailer lol

Ok go ahead and spoil me... how does me manage to get killed as the narrator?

finally, Detroit has an open tight end!

because why wait till after the lions play to have a bad taste in your mouth.

Looks like Detroit still has a crack problem.

Who the hells serves a tossed salad at a tailgate party?

Well, that's one way to tailgate

This is absolutely disgusting.