I know I can't beat the legend of the "crusty dildo" but I'll share my Senior year hell just the same.

Find out your local/state laws regarding return of deposit. Assuming there is a law requiring its return within X amount of time, write him or your landlord a demand letter referencing that law, and threatening small claims court if they don't follow through. I recently did this with my last landlord for illegally…

I would be fine with people eating my cake so long as I was left with a big piece for myself the next day (like double the size of a normal piece because fuckyeah, cake). Sometimes people eat the whole freaking thing or leave you a tiny little sliver of a piece.

I once walked in on a roommate jilling off to foot fetish porn.

Because Apple is run by absolute control freaks who want to control every aspect of everything you do with the devices you bought from them.

This 17-year-old monster forced a 17-year-old boy (himself) to pose for child pornography, thereby victimizing himself. We need to do whatever it takes to show victimizers like this boy that they can't just harm innocent victims, like himself, on a whim.

It's all very simple. It's child pornography when a 17-year-old willingly takes pictures of his own genitalia. It's not child pornography when an officer of the court gets permission to forcibly inject a child with drugs and then take pictures of his genitalia.

Lawyers for a 17-year-old boy accused of sexting...

gotta make child porn to stop child porn

Yes. It was for the legally binding contract that comes with inherent benefits.

It should be the other way around! Civil marriage only: if you want to call yourself married, you have to stand in front of a government employee and take an oath. If after that you want to stand in a designated holy place and have your chosen holy person communicate with your deity about it, awesome, go to town. But…

I did something similar. There was a guy who kept swiping mine and denying it, but instead of just writing my name on it, I wrote "STOLEN FROM [my name]" on the *bottom* of each can. Then every time he took a sip all of my co-workers would know.

I always ask for a running tally of exactly how many bowel movements were excreted by the previous tenant. I like to rotate toilets every 10,000 craps.

" Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. "

Actually, it might be a win for the baby. This woman is toxic.

I'm from Canada. The government pays maternity leave, not the business. It's done through EI (something I am paying into anyway). Next! Oh, and guess what, they have paternity leave too - because babies aren't made by women alone. AND IT BENEFITS EVERYONE. Kind of like our healthcare.

I once saw an article (now I can't find it, it was several years ago) about how in countries outside of the US, there are social conservative parties that are also what we would call liberal on economic issues. The idea is that they value "traditional families" so they want economic policies to support a traditional…

not all creepy anthropomorphic fictional men figures

This is new? I used to do this when I was in HS (and I graduated nine years ago), except instead of texting it would be late night AIM chats and the such. Best time to use dial-up, obvi, since no one is gonna call at 2am.