So what exactly, other than the fact that I don’t agree with you, do you think shows I’m not listening?

When we say abuse is not abuse, we make it easier for people to abuse others and for society to look the other way. That’s not about me.

I’m not telling hr how to feel and I’ve said time and again it’s irrelevant. I don’t care how he feels about it. The fact is ANYTIME SOMEONE HITS A CHILD WITH A BELT, THAT IS ABUSE.

You, like most people, confuse listening with agreement. You think because I don’t agree with you and see things your way, that I’m not listening. I am listening, I just don’t agree. There really is a difference. I can listen and hear, and still not see things your way.

And no, I’m not an ally. Way to much…

the fuck?? IT’S HER STORY. You don’t get to determine what are “facts” and what are not. YOU WEREN’T THERE.

I’m asking you to STOP NEGATING OTHERS’ EXPERIENCES because it’s WRONG.

“That doesn’t include negating others’ experiences!! “

You are doing that in spades, right now, in this thread,

I’m saying these things because attitudes that excuse abuse are harmful and only help abuses continue.

I don’t think there is anything wrong about wanting to stop the continuation of harmful attitudes towards abuse.

What I want is to stop the perpetration of harmful attitudes towards abuse that allow it to continue.

And I have never tried to tell anyone what to feel about anything. I am saying that when someone hits a child with a belt that is abuse, no exceptions. That is an important fact and when people refuse to acknowledge…

No, I’m not going to stop caring about things that are important.

She is free to feel however she wants about about it. She is not free to make up facts.

Anything that says hitting a child with a belt is not abuse is perpetrating harmful attitudes towards abuse. I’m not ok with that.

Yes, somethings that are abuse are also legal, sadly.

I really don’t know.

Hold on a sec - spanking/hitting is not illegal in any state.

So? Are you saying it’s only abuse if it’s illegal? Is the law always correct? I never said a thing about the law.

And FYI - it is illegal in Deleware.

Hitting a child with a belt IS abuse. If you don’t see that, you are part of the problem.

Some things are black and white and trying to make excuses for abuse is what what hurts us. Your views are damaging to society and only help abusers.

Then maybe you should not have tried to berate someone else for being factual with the information you provided about them.

I wouldn’t say “ok” is the same as “best ever”.

OK = acceptable. If it’s not OK it’s not acceptable and is abuse. OK is the middle between good and abuse.

Hitting a child is not automatically abusive. From a legal perspective or from an emotional perspective.