Don’t be sad. Harambe would've wanted it this way. He loved low hanging fruit.

Harambe loved Skyline Chili

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

I have the same gait when I have to poop.

Yoy, Yoy, Double Yoy! When yinzer divin’ for nachos you got to chawt.

please please please let there be épée people...

The kid’s a Pittsburgh fan, who probably at least has parents or grandparents from Pittsburgh.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I remember this every time I see someone who still has a blackberry.

It’s what Babe Ruth was trying to tell us all along!!

Han poured a shot first...

The only reason I can come up with is to have someone hold your hand on your deathbed...but that’s what hookers are for.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

Yeah, I think the anti-PC backlash has gotten to the point where the word “offensive” or “offended” imply emotional fragility and to suggest that someone is offended is, in a way, offensive in itself.