Also, I never leave the house without Chapstick. I legit have 15 tubes scattered around my house at any given time. I’m sorry you don’t know the joy of having soft, protected-from-UV-rays lips, Chris Wallace.

We should just accept that we are terrible people.

UGH DID THIS EVEN NEED TO BE WRITTEN???

*Sigh* It’s just insane to me that we are unwilling (because we could figure out a way to do this if lawmakers made this a priority, but they won’t because they’re too busy cutting taxes for the rich and shit) to pay the people who care for and educate our kids a good wage. It’s insane. Of course, it’s all because…

Yeah I kept waiting for someone to be like “hey what are you doing up here with one of them?!” But they just kept going all the way through the offices

When virtually every player on the team (or possibly literally every, I didn’t keep a checklist) says “David Ross is the most important player on this team. He keeps us grounded and steady,” I tend to believe it. Especially when the franchise has been hamstrung by epic collapses over the last, uh, century plus.

Well, he did lead the league in catcher pickoffs each of the last two seasons despite being a part-time player, but yeah, that’s not really it. His veteran, steadying influence was so, so important for this team that’s overflowing with youth. I couldn’t count the number of times a game would switch to a dugout cam and…

Kris Bryant, Kris Bryant, and Kris Bryant.

Such a touching moment, that was marred by the one of him handing the game-winning out ball to pile of feces Tom Ricketts.

On the other hand, I would happily do every single meal-related chore if it exempt me from every other household task.

Looks like Pablo Escobar’s dorky white cousin.

Michael Cera stole that movie. He had no right being that wonderful in it.

Him?

Wait, this Michael Cera?

So basically Chrissy Teigen is being an adult about her husband’s past.

The joke from one of those popsicle sticks:

“it’s a gritty, tough, hard-working shrimp.”

OMG WHERE DID HE GO?!