Or flying foxes, yeah.

Okay, this was literally one of the worst King novels I have ever read, doubly disappointing to me for having read it right after finishing The Stand, which is still my favorite standalone (no pun intended) King novel of all time. I hope they clean up the massive dead zone (pun intended) that is most of the novel,…

Leon: The Professional is one of my faves too.

Cool, I’ll make sure to avoid those films as well.

Ahem. Maybe a little too one the nose, but this is in my personal collection and one of my favorite films to watch stoned.

I mean, I barely care, and I’m him.

Yeah, I discovered him last night too. There was also apparently a Russian actor by that name who lived and worked around the same time. It had never really occurred to me to google my username before. The things you discover . . .

So am I.

Hast thou never heard of using a fake name? Ivan Nazarov isn’t a real person. Well, I mean, he might be a real person somewhere, but otherwise, I made him up.

Alas, I am not. Ivan Nazarov is an unused character I created for a story. Decided to make him my alias.

Ha! Touche.

Eh, I figure my ugly mug will deter anyone from looking too closely. ;)

Oh, damn. Was it that obvious?

Well, I used to keep a journal, and I stay up way too damn late most nights, but unfortunately, no. I am all too mortal.

Alright, I’ll say this: I wrote an article about an issue she wanted to learn more about and leave it at that. To say more would identify me, and I don’t want to do that.

True fact: I once had an hour-long Skype session with Daniella Pineda, who plays a dino vet in this movie. I won’t tell you the context of that conversation or how it came about, but I will say she was really cool and down-to-earth. In fact, I didn’t even know she was in The Vampire Diaries (never seen it) until after…

Sure, why not? 13th Jason actor. The last Jason was for music so he doesn’t count.

Yeah, I have nothing against NYC actually. I just never turn down an opportunity to make a bad joke. That’s my contribution to humanity right there.

Oh, yeah, 13 actors named Jason. Good call.

How could you leave out Jason Bateman? Speaking of which, did any of you watch Ozark? It was pretty damn good, I thought.