This hurt a bit to read. I feel incredibly old knowing someone who writes for a pop-culture food site didn’t know about McDonaldland.

Complete respect and agreement here

Ordering Mexican after Trump’s been ousted is the kind of irony you don’t hear in Alanis Morissette songs. 

I joked with a friend the other day that a dog in the White House again is the real victory.

According to The Daily Mail (which we’re obviously taking with more than a few grains of salt), a source in the White House says Trump has been stewing over Biden’s win by planning ways to keep contesting the election results while eating mountains of fast food with his pals.

Back in the day, rumor had it that when he was elected last time she re-negotiated the terms of the pre-nup. That it was part of what was going on while she stayed in NYC for Barron’s school year. It’s a little thing but one I would love to find out is true. Not that I have any love for Golddigger Birther Barbie.

So if he goes to prison, what exactly does the Secret Service do? I’ve been wondering that ever since I saw someone mention it on Twitter.

“The president has food poisoning, it’s coming out of both sides.”

Steamed fraud?

I look forward to him having to state publicly, on the record, that he is broke, in an attempt to defraud his wife of any monetary compensation in the divorce proceedings. 

While you’re most likely right (there’s no way he doesn’t have an anus most heinous with his diet), even good smelling fast food can start getting to you when you’re smelling it all day. 

“There are stinky farts on both sides.”

“The cheese on this Gordita is fraudulent. I demand a re-cheese!”

Mark Esper was obviously never going to work out with Trump, what with Trump’s blatant disregard and refusal to even recognize the longstanding international “Smelt It/Dealt It” agreement of 1946.

Sounds about reich.

Your typo made me think of the new First Doggo

Jill Biden, who likely will be supervising their move, needs to have the entire White House Fogged down, UV sanitized, and scrubbed clean of orange bronzer, falling orangutan like hair all over the carpet and clogging the shower, Melania’s leg make-up on all the good furniture and Barron Trump’s stiff white socks.…

“PEEYOOO! Which one of you farted? I know it wasn’t me because mine smell beautiful....ESPER! I’m betting it was you. You’re fired, effective immediately.”

Hamberders.

Near me we have a book shop called ‘Bookends’, which has a cafe inside to the rear called ‘Cakes and Ale’.