i feel like weird is his default setting.

ah, okay. there’s a legion of folks at my office who are straight-up obsessed with dutch bros and i vaguely wondered why, but i’m guessing it’s the cookie/candy aisle distilled into a milky caffeinated beverage that’s behind it. i never knew they had that many flavors, and now i want to try it and i am ashamed.

well, there’s already mocha-flavored monster, so tbh you’re not wrong.

i can’t even argue with that considering my first thought was ‘oh hey it’s zach bra-oh wait no it’s not, but it could be.’

random story time: i’m supremely glad i met beyonce in 2001 before she was super duper mega ultra Bey. i was working at the mall as a summer gig and it was just me and my boss on a very slow tuesday morning. boss lady was in the back doing schedules or something, so it was just me on the floor, and i noticed these two…

“Colonel Aldrin, I’m a huge fan...of space”

hi there, i’m nobody and i love me some mayo on a ham sandwich. 

we never listen.

she legitimately looked like it was the highlight of her year getting hit in the neck with a hat, with a very ‘once regina george punched me in the face...it was awesome’ kind of expression. 

this is a precious gem (no pun intended i swear) of news i didn’t know i needed. they seem adorable, honestly.

omg i’d forgotten this existed and now i too am laughing. thank you.

i mean that’s pretty true...i feel like if you’re going to burger king, you are essentially always ordering an IDGAF meal, bc honestly, what else can you get there?

when i was a teenager living in northern va, my family would go on spring and summer weekend trips relatively often to the much more temperate blue ridge mountains a couple hours away. often, we’d stop at what we called the ‘gucci quickiemart’ that was in the middle of nowhere and about a halfway point of the drive.…

i’m originally a virginia girl and i swear there are some great names there. obligatory mention of my favorite being bumpass, va.

...ew.

fight me!

i had a dude tip me five bucks in quarters the other day. i can’t complain, bc a) it was a tip and b) yay laundry money. but most of the time,  yeah, it’s like postmates hides the tip option.

i do postmates as a side gig from my regular office job, and i gotta say, i actually really like doing the 7-11 orders. the store is small so there’s no running around a million aisles, the orders are generally easy (so, so many requests for ben and jerry’s, diet coke/mt dew, and chips), and i can get in and out in…

today i learned you can make scoopable greek salad and i am totally here for it.

i’m on the fence about this one. not a fan of typical commercialized concern and being used by a brand, but my bipolar-having ass is also perpetually on a mission to decriminalize mental illness, as it were. i speak about it matter-of-factly with my friends/family/coworkers if it happens to come up in conversation, bc…