Good Lord, that's the poetic equivalent of the song "Joe Lies" from Say Anything. Here's my impression of me reading that bit about Jesus:

"You're getting tied up, I will treat you like a random victim, gonna do you Manchester style."

fuck, this is horrible

For those of you wondering why I linked to the map rather than posting it: since it's Vox's map using the USDA's data (rather than the USDA's map itself), I'd really, really prefer not to get our pants sued off.

Good point. Also, that post is already more poetic than Franco's entire book.

Is it bad that your comment was better before I realized that the "cl" was not a "d"?

Isn't all poetry the metaphorical equivalent of posting a selfie in dirty nude underwear?

But has your mom posted a selfie in dirty nude underwear? That explains it.

Stop being available outside of agreed upon times, and go on about your life. Not as some kind of game-playing tactic, but because your current approach is causing simmering resentment and that will be worse for the relationship than just seeing less of one another for a while. One of you needs to respect your…

Yes, yes, be mesmerized by the ASkars boobage.

His cleavage really throws me off in that gif. I keep staring at it.

I need some advice on helping to curb my recent passive aggression before it really wrecks my relationship.

This post was more perverse than anything I'll see on True Blood tonight. Well-played, Isha. In an evil sort of way.

So he can put in a good word with Dave?

If I give away my secrets no one will read my comments.

Yeah. I'm not buying this either. I don't have any. I'd just as soon focus my energy on whomever I'm with, thanks.

So much funnier since I've never had a MySpace account.

O.K., your GIF just gave me a MySpace Moment!

"Eventually we must all offer up our celebrity crushes to our significant other and stand there, naked and vulnerable, to be judged for them."