Here's what happened to me: my mother in law bought me a lace thong as a gift. Then my husband and I were prepping the turkey, and rinsing it off, and he dropped it into the bin and doused me head to toe in raw turkey water. My mouth was open. Then, day of show, my in laws (3 of them) took a combined total of 8 shits…

Poor Joey.

I work at an ER a few minutes from the studio where they film Bethany's show. Not two hours after filming this "after the show" footage, Joey came in complaining of back pain and shortness of breath. All that dancing really took it out of him.

He also slipped on those "feathers" and broke a hip.

But he…

Here is my little sh*t! He makes that face when he wants to be picked up!

And it's totally wearable again! I said to Mr. Corgi last night that I'd ordered my wedding dress. He lets out this big sigh. "How much?" I grin. He sighs more. Then I laugh and said, "$130 total." He was oh, wow, good for you! Was it on sale?

You aren't a failure.

Hey, I just wanted to say, I've been reading your GT posts, and even though what I'm going through is nowhere near what you are, I've really been empathizing with your feeling like a failure, or like you aren't cut out for this. For me, it's grad school, which is, again, way less important than being a new mom, but…

This is so wonderful, and I'm glad that women are coming forth with their stories of early detections and preventions. My mother is a cancer survivor, having survived thyroid, breast, cervical and ovarian cancer between 30 - 39. She was a nurse herself, the first two were much easier to detect. For the latter,…

It's just been so nice having you this weekend. You are hilarious and this needs to be a regular thing. I actually wanted to read Jez this weekend and was super looking forward to everything you have posted. YAY BURT.

THANK YOU FOR EMPLOYING THE HILARIOUS AND AMAZING REBECCA BURT, JEZEBEL. Real talk: she is super funny and a very good person and a great friend. I'm really happy about this.

He's actually half Sudanese and half English. Malcolm McDowell is his uncle.

Charlie Sheen is 50 and he keeps doing this stuff (i.e. drugs, domestic violence, losing custody of his children), yet he has a new sitcom. No one's protesting or complaining.

Chris Brown is portrayed as evil and the worst person alive in the media. On the flip side Lindsey Lohan has always been portrayed as messed up but needing help. Amanda Bynes is portrayed as hilariously mentally ill and just needs some help. It's not fact that Chris Brown keeps doing stuff that puts him in the news…

Not really gossip, but celeb story: Last month I met Megan Mullaley and Nick Offerman and they were both so nice and cool. I've come back to live in my hometown in north NJ while recovering from a 2 year long depression and eventual suicide attempt. During this time I've watched so much tv, and of the two things…

Saving lives, one soul patch at a time.

I have never been pregnant but I want to smack every person who is like " birth is natural , your body knows what to do" Like really my body thinks I need to die if I come in contact with shrimp so I'm not trusting it with all my health decisions. Also my mom and I would both be dead if she trusted her body to "do…

Racism against Roma people, unlike racism against any other kind of people, is totally legitimate. I know this because some Roma people treated me badly in the past. Roma people are the ONLY people that have ever treated me badly. No other group has criminals in it, especially white Europeans. This is likely due to…

Actually, it was in regard to a doctor telling her that her uterus was much larger than that of an average woman. Her immediate reaction was apparently to sigh and said "It was my daughter LaComtesse's eyebrows, probably. They're huge. They stretched it all out in there."

The Elijah Wood comment made me snort/chortle. Snortle!

Just to clarify again, this only applies to those without the BRCA mutation.