My tricks even better... simply turn the glass upside down emptying the contents into your digestive tract... repeat as necessary until all your superficial fucks are gone.

I’ve only listened once so far and am very tired, but I definitely took it as her playing the victim rather than owning up to her misguided publicity efforts last summer. I interpreted it as her detailing how someone else’s actions make her seem like a villain, thus shirking responsibility for her new reputation.

This is like thirsty Dr. Seuss.

Not everyone is magical.

Eniko. Girl. “Knowing damn well there were other women during their marriage” is like, maybe something you don’t want to be gloating about in your IG post about your marriage to this man.

This confirms a theory a have about white people and I’m not even going to say ‘some’ white people. They are so full of themselves that they can’t fathom being told that they can’t do something or that some spaces aren’t targeted to them. They can’t stand that there can actually be spaces that weren’t created just.…

It is the literal definition of white privilege for people to not understand how important it is for people to see themselves in popular media. It is damned hard teaching my kids self love and self worth when too many of the depictions of people who look like them are negative, while the opposite is true for white…

Model/Actor/Singer done correctly:

“Some of the people that are opposed to this, there are female senators from the Northeast... If it was a guy from South Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style,”

I’m quite young and only been married a month, but I’ve informed Bonernator that I will haunt the fuck out of him if he ever remarries. IDGAF

That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

Is there a single picture of McConell where he doesn’t look like a geriatric sea-turtle struggling to hold in a fart?

I binged the first three episodes yesterday morning and I now regret it because it was so good I want to be able to savor it and drag it out until the next episode is released.

TBH I’d totally steal a moped if it meant a pat down by Tom Hardy. Even telly-angry Tom Hardy.

Lazy. Raise your hand if you’ve ever worked for a lazy ass white man who was handed a job by other dumb white folk and then you not only had to train him, but cover for his dumb ass so you also didn’t lose your job.

I’m loving how many Cleveland jezzies are up in here

Switching from hourly to full-time can be tough.