“She banged her head on the hatch and died and my first thought was ‘well, better cover this up, where’s my dismembering knife?’ Then my second thought was ‘well, better sink my submarine now’.”

And his excuses are so absurd. Dead women on your computer? Maybe hacked. Dead woman on your sub? Maybe an accident. Both together? You’re going away for a long time.

The BBC reports that forensics have revealed stab wounds on Wall’s torso, and images on Madsen’s computer of women being tortured and murdered.

So sleep tight baby

i mean, this, a thousand times this, my friend:

All the good girls are home with broken hearts

Before his Super Bowl performance, I asked people’s favorite Petty song.

I for one will be taking his advice in his memory.

I feel bad for anyone that dates Emily in the future.

planning to expand the country’s economy... into tourism

You missed a boner.

But finding a male lead in his 20s who can act and sing has proven difficult — especially since the studio wants someone of Middle-Eastern or Indian descent 

I had an idea that they should offer medical procedures in flight, so that when you fly from ...say from Atlanta to London...by the time you land and wake up you’ve had your teeth cleaned, your annual gyno exam and a colonoscopy!

We had a close friend who passed away after a lengthy battle with breast cancer, her husband was remarried within the year. While I recall at the time thinking, “whoa that’s too soon”, they have been happily married for 15 years. Men do seem to remarry much faster than women as a general rule.

Uh, Patton Oswalt is always going to mourn his wife. Falling in love with someone else and getting married doesn’t negate the love one has for their deceased spouse. His new wife doesn’t delete Michelle McNamara, and if she’s a half-decent person, she knows that. Mazel to him and Meredith and Alice, who seem very…

Nope, too soon. It’s none of my business and I’m glad they’re all happy but all the hair stands on the back of my neck when this happens

It would be too soon FOR YOU. Grief affects each of us differently, and there is no timetable that we all must follow.

I am happy he has found love again. I will also say, men seem to move on way faster than women. It’s like they can’t stand to be alone. Especially if they have kids. When my dad died suddenly when I was eight, it was years before my mother (age 29) was ready to date again. I see guys engaged within a year of losing a…

Bobby I love you so dearly but please... it’s “fiancée” if it’s Chyna! Don’t be another one of those people who just uses “fiancé” for both :( it hurts me!!

you know how boys start whacking it around 10-11? girls gotta start whacking it earlier too (cause isn’t like the average age when women start masturbating like early 20s?).