I'm sure he'd rather plead insanity before premature ejaculation, but if he did it would prove that he was only going to leave his kids for like 3 minutes. I should be a lawyer.

Nope, there are no real safe places. As fairlyvexed said, "you'd think dudes who themselves experience discrimination would be reluctant to turn and punch down..." and you'd think that some drunk straight girl wouldn't grab my cock'n'balls in a gay bar either, but when it's your bachelorette everybody is there for…

I have too many Vita games to play :( I didn't even look at the Steam summer sale because my Vita backlog is too big.

That's how she became famous, right? I knew she had a skill!

'Casey Wilson' was all I needed to see. I'm on board.

Qatar is made of fire.

I think knotting would be easier on his bowels.

You can tell by who has the nicer butt.

I want to smash those wasabi chips in to a crust for baked salmon.

Does she still do those?(!) I loved that celebrity liquor taste taste from ages past.

I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything that Braff has been in but he seems like a nice fellow.

The best flavour will always be Stale From the Night Before.

I'd like to be a snob about almond milk but I've read centuries-old French baking recipes that call for it, so my other kind of snobbery kicked in.

Fruity salsa is great when it's very spicy. The chips won't be hot enough :(

Florida Woman Realizes 50 Shots of Espresso is Next Best Thing to Meth

Black with half sugar? I must know.

I'm so glad everyday citizens will step in to violate the privacy of their peers when the government isn't available to do so.

I'm going to pretend that the Beverly Crusher doll is your editor and that she tasked you with writing this.

Her character was pretty flimsy in the most recent movie but at least they gave her some lines. I think people wanted her to be like the silent, sexy ninja that Rebecca Romijn was. They're both pretty weak when compared to the intelligent and interesting Mystique in the comics though.

Climate change has really limited how many terrible people we can set adrift on ice floes.