So now we can admit how gross it is to make out with strangers, right? If this video featured real people who weren't paid to be starry eyed I feel like we'd be more cynical.

She seems to have an irrational distaste for Angelina Jolie, who is indeed a woman. She also has tonnes of female writers and comedians on her show, and they're fucking hilarious.

She has a lot of hilarious female writers and comedians on staff and she gives them their time in the limelight. Fortune killed on Conan last week, Youtube that shiiit.

I don't understand why the writers think we care about the sexy, After School Special cultists. If you cut out all the stabbing that went on in that serial killer mansion it'd look like Dawson's Creek.

It usually takes me more than half a bottle to admit it. Oh, 'battle'. I see.

Yay my boyfriend from The Following. Now if only he could tear some screen time away from the sexy, 20-something serial killer cultists and their personal problems.

I still get caught up in playing MK7 online, representing Canada and annihilating Mexico's secret group of online super racers.

Codpieces still exist in the form of large, flashy belt buckles. It's an excellent way to draw the gaze to your crotch.

I buy dirt cheap athletic briefs from Reebok n' stuff. They're all cotton and impossibly comfy. They don't sound sexy but they fit like a Speedo and it naturally enhances your junk because there's no elastic material, so things sit out front instead of getting squished together. Basically 1950's style cotton panties…

Seems that bones are the only biological difference. As far as I know DNA won't tell you anything about race. http://shs2.westport.k12.ct.us/forensics/11-f…

Semantics? People of different races have different bone structure. I don't see how that's not biological.

Fun Fact: Your sexist co-worker calling you a witch under his breath is the lady equivalent of, "You're a wizard, Harry!". Get your ass to Hogwarts!

But my Animal Crossing avatar looks so cute with his thick black glasses. I can tell by the way he looks at me that he has 20/20 vision tho.

She is wearing magma. MAGMA.

I know it's only Twitter and that he's rich and has abs, but I imagine it must be heartbreaking to find out a lot of your fans are liars and now hate you because of the truth.

I wag my tail in agreement.

I don't have a cloaca, fuck you PETA.

I liked this better when it was a Canadian reality show to determine who would be the best for the lead on stage.

Mario has never been more agile than on the N64. The controls were amazing and if you play the game like a goddamn gymnast you'll never lose any of your delicious life pie.

20% off American Apparel today. I'm buying this shirt so I can pretend I have opinions.