Sssh... all us men have naturally tame, attractive happy trails...

Since my artistic ability can only be expressed as a negative value, I would have done the same.

Pretty sure Peaches Geldof is a fancy dessert you can only get in Parisian hotels.

The only thing in that picture capable of giving you an orgasm is the bike.

I tried to watch Aziz Ansari joke about how black people's tiny minds are blown by magic tricks, so yes, I think I do prefer Oprah's take.

Their lip balm burns my face and makes me scream like a dying cat. That's probably what they meant.

and flaunting his sideboob like a total slutbag

Terry Richardson has such dainty hands.

It should be.

Seriously. Those plum coloured glasses scream sex.

I had a dream that my luggage was a fully functional washing machine.

Norse mythology has more cross dressing and cases of mistaken identity than Shakespeare. It's wacky shit.

No no, the eventual religious wars between the Lululemon cult and Scientology is going to be the best thing to happen to this planet.

Excellent choice of hair too.

Picturing Josh Hutcherson in a seashell bra is helping

Have you tried electroshock therapy?

If I wanted to feel like I was being urinated on...

You want THAT tub next to those blinds? You're a monster.

Is there a good time to have a baby? When you're younger your eggz and spermz are healthier, but when you're older you're (apparently) a parenting genius with sluggish swimmers.

Plus everyone is sporting that look this nuclear winter.